First of all
If you are feeling fear at this moment, you need to make a decision. When you have relaxed and can explore, you will want to know more clearly what the scary portions of your life represent for you. Right now, you need to: Either, stop resisting and let yourself feel the fear– without judgment–as the first step in preparing to discover what it is all about for you and what you want to do: or
Shift your attention into a more positive direction using deep breathing, meditation and positive affirmation. Either choice will help you relax and cease struggling. But bear in mind that emotional healing requires that the feelings be felt as part of the process of clearing and resolution. That moment cannot be put off forever. When you allow yourself to feel without judgment you have moved into the Now and a very large portion of the emotional charge will be released immediately. Then, once you’ve relaxed, you can use the exercises in this workbook to explore the specific fear and deal with it. Be alert to your own resistance. Even on a positive track you will certainly experience it, most commonly with discouraging thoughts that tell you you can’t change the situation,or that past failures will be repeated. The first thing to change is those thoughts.
This workbook is intended to assist you in facing your fear and handling it in the most positive way. The exercises can be used again and again in varying circumstances.
It is inner change which preceeds outer changes in your life. Begin the exercises. They will help you regardless of what you believe to be the cause of your distress.
Exercises For Clarity, Integration And Strength
After the immediate steps you take to release yourself from fear–such as deep breathing, it is usually helpful to become more conscious of how you were thinking before the fear took hold. Exercises are offered here to help you understand how you have been constricting yourself and your perceptions–and what is needed to set yourself free. The exercises are intended to help you uncover the beliefs, the thinking/feeling/imaging patterns which trigger your fear and to remind you of the effective ways you have dealt with fears in the past.
Exercise 1. To identify your own worst fear, answer the following questions for yourself: In what areas of my life do I feel the least sense of personal power? Who or what do I give that power to?
How can I take it back?
Exercise 2. To explore a particular situation that is arousing much anxiety in you, say to a partner, “With regard to _____, I’m afraid that____ .”
Say or write at least ten things.
Take a deep breath before each statement. When you feel as though you’ve said everything there is to say, take another deep breath and say, “And most of all I’m afraid that ____!”
This exercise is extremely useful in bringing clarity where there is a cloud of anxiety and confusion. The information brought forth is likely to surprise and even reassure you. Clarity as to what you have been fearing will enormously reduce the level of fear. Affirmations can be created to deal with the situation when you are clear about it. You may end up saying, “Oh, if that’s what the problem is, I know I can handle that!”
Exercise 3. Some of my fears are tapes of feelings that somebody else once felt. Who?
What is the story of that person’s fear?
What does it have to do with me–if anything?
Exercise 4. (a) My usual ways of reacting to fear are_______. Brave denial? Avoidance? Provocation? Attack?
(b) My most effective experiences or methods of dealing with fear in the past have been ____.
Ultimately, the answer to this question becomes feeling the fear and facing it, going through what has been avoided and discovering your strength through experience.
Exercise 5. Positive beliefs that have helped me through life; strengths I can draw upon. (List them)
For example: I always have what I need. There is always a solution. I’m a strong person.
Another way to do this exercise is to simply list your positive achievements of the past year, and do it every year. My positive achievements of this past year were:
Exercise 6. Integration. Assign a positive affirmation to your right (or dominant) hand and state it as you make a gesture with that hand. Let the left hand state the opposition, whatever comes to mind. If no opposition comes to mind, repeat the affirmation with the right hand. Continue until there is no opposition. You will be amazed how well this works.
Working With The Dark Side Of The Self
These exercises can be used over and over as you work your way through different fears. They will also reveal your progress.
A. First, imagine yourself full of the brightest light you can imagine. Breathe deeply. Ask your Higher Self and the divine child within to help you. Ask for information to identify your shadow side. The information may come piecemeal. It might take a week to get a fairly complete picture of what you can face at this time. Keep re-establishing your connection with the light. It is light penetrating darkness which brings perspective on that which has been hidden from consciousness. It is also willingness to walk into the dark — metaphorically speaking.
You may find it helpful to frame the question in many different ways.
What have I avoided?
What have I feared?
What has showed up in dreams?
What seems to be chasing me?
What seems to be missing in my life? (There is always a reason.)
The following series of questions have been found very helpful. You have permission to copy this page and use these questions over and over. The answers will vary with the situation.
- What I fear most in my life right now is _______.
- My repetitive thoughts and feelings about this are ________.
- What I do when I’m afraid is _____.
- What happens in my body is _____.
- I have used this fear in my life to avoid _____ and to justify (doing/thinking/feeling) _____.
- If I were to try and make what I most fear happen on purpose, I would _____ . List ten things and note how many of them you are actually doing.
- If I were free of my fear, I would be (doing) _____ in my life right now. Give yourself plenty of time to answer.
B. Write your story in four ways. This is well worth the time and effort and can be extremely effective in helping you to shift out of the initial viewpoint into one that is more empowering and compassionate, both towards yourself and anyone else involved. Here are the four versions of your story:
- As your sad tale–the victim version.
- As seen from some other person’s point of view who was there.
- As seen by your Higher Self.
- As an empowering experience for you. In this last one, imagine that the experiences of your fears have led you in exactly the right direction and strengthened you in just the perfect ways and in perfect timing so you can achieve your soul’s mission effectively on earth in this lifetime.
C. What I most want to have happen in this situation is
Envision it with as much detail, color, light and emotional energy as you can. Rehearse and empower it. Remember, though, that you do not have the right to create a vision for any other specific being. Put no names or faces into your vision. Work with essence–the kind of relationships and feelings you want to be feeling instead of attempting to achieve specific relationships with people you know.
D. Create the affirmations which will support your vision and correct your fears.
Authors Details: Toraya AKA Carly Ayres <[email protected]>