The ethics of casting love spells
Before I begin, I want to make sure you understand that the
following is my own views on the ethics of doing love spells
and may not be the same as the opinions of others.
The standard position among Pagans is that you should never
do spells to make a particular person love you. This is pretty
much set in stone. Trying to change the emotions of another
is clearly manipulation and should not be attempted. Besides,
it's not really love and the relationship will inevitably
end badly for both you and your 'victim'. Do not try to delude
yourself by thinking he (or she) really loves you, just doesn't
realize it or is afraid to act. Even if this scenario is true,
that doesn't make it OK for you to force the issue.
But there are variations of love magick that
many people (including myself) consider to be acceptable.
The best way to perform magick to improve
your love life is to stick to rituals or spells that will
draw love to you, but that do NOT have any references to particular
people. Sort of like creating an astral love beacon. Perhaps
make a red charm bag filled with items like rose petals, rose
quartz crystal, orris root, and a bit of patchouli oil. Envision
the bag as a magnet, drawing a loving relationship towards
you, and let nature take its course.
Other ethical uses for love-related magick would be to help
heal or improve an existing relationship, as long as you are
not trying to specifically force the other person into feeling
something that is not there. You should get permission from
your other half before doing any spells of this type. Better
communication, having more time to spend together, or even
a spicier sex life are all possible aspects of a relationship
that might need some help.
One more thing to mention. You might also
cast a spell inwards rather than outwards: magick to increase
your confidence, improve your conversational skills, or even
to bring you a bit of extra money so you can afford to go
out a bit more.
There are spells, often called 'glamours'
that can supposedly change your outward appearance, and make
you more physically attractive. I don't know anyone who actually
does magick like this, and I personally find the idea a little
iffy. Even if such a spell did work, eventually your new love
will see the real you, unless you plan on working magick on
yourself every day for the duration of the relationship.
Of course, magick can only do so much. If
you spend all your free time sitting at home, no spell will
be able to help you. Even with a spell working for you, you
still need to get out of the house, be social, and get talking
to people.
