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To gain
the love of someone: On a night of the full moon, walk to
a spot beneath your beloved's bedroom window, and whisper
his/her name three times to the nightwind.
--Ozark love spell
It seems to be an immutable
law of nature. You are interviewed by a local radio or TV
station, or in some local newspaper. The topic of the interview
is Witchcraft or Paganism, and you spend the better part of
an hour brilliantly articulating your beliefs, your devotion
to Goddess and nature, the difference between Witchcraft and
Satanism, and generally enlightening the public at large.
The next day, you are flooded with calls. Is it people complimenting
you on such a splendid interview? No. People wanting to find
out more about the religion of Wicca? Huh-uh. People who are
even vaguely interested in what you had to say??? Nope. Who
is it? It's people asking you to do a love spell for them!
This used to drive me nuts.
I'd take a deep breath and patiently explain (for the thousandth
time) why I won't even do love spells for myself, let alone
anyone else. This generally resulted in my caller becoming
either angry or defensive, but seldom more enlightened. 'But
don't you DO magic?', they ask. 'Only occasionally,' I answer.
'And aren't most magic spells love spells?', they persist.
That was the line I really hated, because I knew they were
right! At least, if you look at the table of contents of most
books on magic, you'll find more love spells than any other
kind. This seems as true for the medieval grimoire as for
the modern drugstore paperback.
Why? Why so many books containing
so many love spells? Why such an emphasis on a kind of magic
that I, personally, have always considered very negative?
And to make matters even more confusing, the books that do
take the trouble of dividing spells between 'positve' and
'negative' magic invariably list love spells under the first
heading. After all, they would argue, love is a good thing.
There can never be too much of it. Therefore, any spell that
brings about love must be a GOOD spell. Never mind that the
spell puts a straightjacket on another's free will, and then
drops it in cement for good measure.
And that is why I had always
assumed love magic to be negative magic. Years ago, one of
the first things I learned as a novice Witch was something
called the Witch's Rede, a kind of 'golden rule' in traditional
Witchcraft. It states, 'An it harm none, do what thou will.'
One uses this rede as a kind of ethical litmus test for a
spell. If the spell brings harm to someone -- anyone (including
yourself!) -- then don't do it! Unfortunately, this rule contains
a loophole big enough to fly a broom through. It's commonly
expressed, 'Oh, this won't HARM them; it's really for their
own good.' When you hear someone say that, take cover, because
something especially nasty is about to happen.
That's why I had to develop
my own version of the Witch's Rede. Mine says that if a spell
harms anyone, OR LIMITS THEIR FREEDOM OF THOUGHT OR ACTION
IN ANY WAY, then consider it negative, and don't do it. Pretty
strict, you say? Perhaps. But there's another law in Witchcraft
called the Law of Threefold Return. This says that whatever
power you send out, eventually comes back to you three times
more powerful. So I take no chances. And love spells, of the
typical make-Bobby-love-me type, definitely have an impact
on another's free will.
So why are they so common?
It's taken me years to make peace with this, but I think I
finally understand. The plain truth is that most of us NEED
love. Without it, our lives are empty and miserable. After
our basic survival needs have been met, we must have affection
and companionship for a full life. And if it will not come
of its own accord, some of us may be tempted to FORCE it to
come. And nothing can be as painful as loving someone who
doesn't love you back. Consequently, the most common, garden-variety
spell in the world is the love spell.
Is there ever a way to do
a love spell and yet stay within the parameters of the Witch's
Rede? Possibly. Some teachers have argued that if a spell
doesn't attempt to attract a SPECIFIC person into your life,
but rather attempts to attract the RIGHT person, whomever
that may be, then it is not negative magic. Even so, one should
make sure that the spell finds people who are 'right' for
each other -- so that neither is harmed, and both are made
happy.
Is there ever an excuse for
the make-Bobby-love-me type of spell? Without endorsing this
viewpoint, I must admit that the most cogent argument in its
favor is the following: Whenever you fall in love with someone,
you do everything in your power to impress them. You dress
nicer, are more attentive, witty, and charming. And at the
same time, you unconsciously set in motion some very powerful
psychic forces. If you've ever walked into a room where someone
has a crush on you, you know what I mean. You can FEEL it.
Proponents of this school say that a love spell only takes
the forces that are ALREADY there -- MUST be there if you're
in love -- and channels them more efficiently.
But the energy would be there
just the same, whether or not you use a spell to focus it.
I won't attempt to decide
this one for you. People must arrive at their own set of ethics
through their own considerations. However, I would call to
your attention all the cautionary tales in folk magic about
love spells gone awry. Also, if a love spell has been employed
to join two people who are not naturally compatible, then
one must keep pumping energy into the spell. And when one
finally tires of this (and one will, because it is hard work!)
then the spell will unravel amidst an emotional and psychic
hurricane that will make the stormiest divorces seem calm
by comparison. Not a pretty picture.
It should be noted that many
spells that pass themselves off as love spells are, in reality,
sex spells. Not that there's anything surprising in that,
since our most basic needs usually include sex. But I think
we should be clear from the outset what kind of spell it is.
And the same ethical standards used for love spells can often
be applied to sex spells. Last year, the very quotable Isaac
Bonewits, author of 'Real Magic', taught a sex magic class
here at the Magick Lantern, and he tossed out the following
rule of thumb: Decide what the mundane equivalent of your
spell would be, and ask yourself if you could be arrested
for it. For example, some spells are like sending a letter
to your beloved in the mail, whereas other spells are tantamount
to abduction. The former is perfectly legal and normal, whereas
the latter is felonious.
One mitigating factor in
your decisions may be the particular tradition of magic you
follow. For example, I've often noticed that practitioners
of Voudoun (Voodoo) and Santeria seem much more focused on
the wants and needs of day-to-day living than on the abstruse
ethical considerations we've been examining here. That's not
a value judgement -- just an observation. For example, most
followers of Wicca STILL don't know how to react when a Santerian
priest spills the blood of a chicken during a ritual -- other
than to feel pretty queasy. The ethics of one culture is not
always the same as another.
And speaking of cultural traditions, another consideration
is how a culture views love and sex. It has often been pointed
out that in our predominant culture, love and sex are seen
in very possessive terms, where the beloved is regarded as
one's personal property. If the spell uses this approach,
treating a person as an object, jealously attempting to cut
off all other relationships, then the ethics are seriously
in doubt. However, if the spell takes a more open approach
to love and sex, not attempting to limit a person's other
relationships in any way, then perhaps it is more defensible.
Perhaps. Still, it might be wise to ask, Is this the kind
of spell I'd want someone to cast on me?
Love spells. Whether to do
them or not. If you are a practitioner of magic, I dare say
you will one day be faced with the choice. If you haven't
yet, it is only a matter of time. And if the answer is yes,
then which spells are ethical and which aren't? Then you,
and only you, will have to decide whether 'All's fair in love
and war', or whether there are other, higher, metaphysical
considerations.
More On Love Spells
(Magic Love
Spell)
(Free Magic Love Spell)
(A
White Candle Love Spell)
(A
Pink Candle Love Spell)
(A
Love Spell For Attraction)
(Another
Love Spell For Attraction)
(A Love
Spell Using Candles & A Bible)
(An
Article On Ethics & Love Spells)
(Another
Article on Love Spells & Ethics)
(Love
Spell - Do You Like Me?) |
