Relationship Dating Tips
Here
are eight things you must avoid whilst dating. These relationship
dating mistakes are very common and easy to avoid. Read them
and apply them in your life.
1 - Playing Games:
When it comes to dating we all have a fear of rejection.
This is human nature. So playing it cool and not getting
too involved with others makes us feel safe. Only problem
with this is you may come off as being cold and aloof.
For many people this is a real turn-off. And you may find
the date of your dreams slipping away. The best way to
find a loving relationship is to be real. People will be
far more receptive to you if they believe you are genuine.
An other game
people play is the "manipulation" game.
Doing things like telling someone you "love them" or
you'll
"call them" just to have them sleep with you. Then
once the deed is done they never hear from you again. This
is one of the most cruel forms of manipulation and it must
be considered unacceptable in the dating world.
Understand that it is O.K. to be a bit cautious. But you
still must be brave and show the real you. Only then will
you be able to have a trusting, loving relationship with
the date of your dreams.
2 - Moving to Fast:
Ladies this one is for you. We all fantasize about our future
and the man of our dreams. Again, this is only human. But,
do you find yourself testing out his last name with yours
and you haven't even gone out on a third date yet? Well,
if you do it's time to remind yourself to Slow Down. Here's
why. Normally for the first 3-8 months of a relationship
we are running on euphoria. You know that "head over
heels" or that "swept off your feet" kind
of feeling that comes with falling in love? Well, there's
an actual reason why this occurres. It's from a chemical
in our body called oxytocin. Basically, this chemical takes
over our brain and it interferes with our ability to think
clearly. So, until you've had time to get to know a person,
and spend time with him to see what he is really like,
it's best not to get to far ahead of yourself. If your
expectations become to high you may find yourself heading
down the path of heartache, and losing the date of your
dreams. Slow Down!
3 - Are you always talking
about your ex?
Carrying old baggage into a new relationship can be disastrous.
Sure we've all had previous relationships, and yes your
new love will find out about them. But, if you are constantly
complaining about your ex, or always comparing your current
love to your ex, it will get real old, real fast.
Instead, take some time to get to know this person. Give
yourself the opportunity for a new start. Try to work out
any old problems before you start up a new relationship.
This way you won't allow the old baggage to cloud your judgment
and affect your actions with your new love. Always talking
about your ex may have you losing the date of your dreams.
4 - Red Flags:
What are Red Flags? Well, here are some, but there are plenty
more.
- Someone you were scheduled to meet doesn't show up and
has no reasonable explanation as to why.
- Someone your involved with will not give you their home
phone number.
- He/she will not introduce you to family or friends.
- He/she won't go out in public with you.
- Being cruel to a pet.
- Being disrespectful to a parent.
Red Flags should not
be ignored.
While you should not jump to conclusions about anyone unless
you have sufficient evidence that something maybe wrong.
If you do feel there is a problem you will need to confront
this person and ask for an explanation. If you do not get
an acceptable explanation and the situation continues to
occur then you need to move on. You do not want to waste
your valuable time on a relationship that is doomed to fail.
5 - Thinking Obsessively:
Are you a worrier? If so, don't let it ruin your relationship
with the date of your dreams. Many people will worry over
a relationship, even before it has a chance to really get
going. You'll worry over what he/she said, or what your
response was to something said. You'll worry over whether
the relationship is moving to fast or to slow. Or whether
the relationship is working at all. And, what will your
friends think, your family think and so on. You need to
understand that this sort of obsessive behavior is a real
relationship killer. Try to build some self-confidence
and trust that the relationship will work. And at a pace
which is perfect for the both of you.
6 - The Interrogation:
Do you want to know every detail of someone's life, and try
to get it out of him/her on the first date? Well, you can't,
not on the first or even the second date. If you come off
as "The Interrogator"
your new dream date will soon become tired of answering all
your questions and move on to someone else. How many kids
do you want to have? is not a good opening line on a first
date. Just relax, let things happen naturally through simple
conversation. Soon you'll know all there is to know about
you new friend. So relax and just have some fun with you
new date.
7 - What about your needs?
Do you want kids, but, he/she does not? Did you tell him/her
you want kids or are you just going along with his/her
idea of life? You must be able to directly communicate
your needs. If you don't you will spend your time in a
relationship without having your needs met. You need to
know what your own needs are and what his/her needs are
before starting a serious relationship. When talking about
your needs be assertive. Not bossy, naggy or demanding.
But, tactful and direct. And, if the two of you can not
agree on meeting each other's needs, (what ever they maybe)
then it is time to re-evaluate the relationship. In any
relationship whether it be personal or business the needs
of all parties involved must be met.
8 - Sacrificing too much:
Do you find yourself doing things to show someone you care
that you would never do other wise? Are you letting yourself
be used as a "doormat"? Usually this sort of
behavior is associated with low self-esteem. Please realize
that in any healthy relationship both parties must be treated
as equals. And both parties must have their needs met.
If this sounds like you re-evaluate your relationship,
and if your are not happy get out. There is someone out
there who will love you for who you are, without you having
to jump through hoops to prove it.
| Authors
Details: Relationship Dating Tips - Marie Clare Web
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