Are you aware
that people in relationships are healthier and live longer?
It’s true. A 75 year-old living with a spouse or partner
has a greater life expectancy (by several years) than someone
who is 75 and single. Does that mean you can wait until you
retire and then focus on finding that special someone? Absolutely
not. Being part of a couple at any age can help to weather
life’s storms. Here are six guidelines for being successful
in relationships.
Be generous. Everyone likes
someone they find generous. And I am not speaking only of
money. People who are generous with their time, affection
and energy are loved. Take time for the five-minute, thinking-of-you
phone call, even if you do have a tight schedule. Prioritize.
Do I need to clean the kitchen right now or can I spend ten
minutes giving (and getting) a neck message? What chores can
I do to lighten the load on my friend’s busiest day?
Ask a potential partner what kind of help they would like.
Listen. Listening is the
key to any relationship. We all want to feel understood. The
only way to understand is to listen. Refrain from giving advice
at least half of the time you are dying to advise. Most of
the time people really do not want advice. They have probably
already considered our advice even before we voice it. What
people want is a sympathetic ear and acceptance. Everyone
loves a good listener.
Cultivate a sense of humor.
We all love a good laugh. You do not have to be a comedian,
but learn to see the lighter side of life. Remember to keep
things in balance. Learn to laugh at yourself. Do you have
road rage? How is it that you have not realized that the world
is filled with self-involved people who drive as though there
were no one else on the road? Do you rant and rave when someone
else is in the car? No one likes to listen to complaints,
verbal abuse and hostility, even if it is not directed at
them. If you find that you have a lot to complain about, do
not burden your friends or they will eventually pull away.
Constant complaints are a symptom of depression. Get treatment.
Depression is a killer and a contributor to many diseases.
If you had the symptoms of a heart attack, wouldn’t
you go to a doctor?
Be prompt. This one is easier
said than done, yet very important. Everyone is late on occasion.
Learn to handle tardiness responsibly. Was traffic worse than
you anticipated? Apologize and admit that you were caught
off guard by the amount of traffic, and that you should have
left earlier. No one likes to be kept waiting and then be
greeted by someone who blames others for their late arrival.
Do you usually cut things a little close when it comes to
timing? Admit that is part of your personality and discuss
constructive ways that you can avoid inconveniencing your
friend. Don’t agree to meet on a street corner if you
tend to be late. Meet in a bookstore where your partner can
browse while waiting for you. If you are chronically late,
invest in a cell phone. Want to learn to be more prompt? Talk
to a counselor who is skilled in helping clients with time
management.
Good hygiene. A sensitive
topic, but one that must be addressed. No one wants to be
in a relationship with someone who smells “bad”.
Brush you teeth, floss, shower, and use deodorant. Plan ahead.
If you need to bring a change of clothes and deodorant with
you to your job because you are meeting someone right after
work, do it. Join a gym near your place of employment. Then
you can start or add to your exercise program and also take
advantage of the gym’s shower facilities. If you have
always had trouble with bad breath despite good dental hygiene,
buy a tongue scraper. Bacteria can accumulate on the back
surface of the tongue and cause bad breath. If that does not
work, see a professional. A dentist can scrape your tongue
and put an end to nagging mouth odors. Are you taking vitamins
or medicine that is causing bad breath? Talk to your pharmacist
or doctor. Bad odors can kill a potential relationship in
seconds.
Your personal energy levels.
Are you an early morning person? Is your potential partner
a night owl? Give that night owl the time needed to get started
in the morning. Do you like to go to sleep at ten-thirty?
Grab a nap on those days when you know it is going to be late
night. Resist the urge to criticize your partner because they
march to a different drummer.
Be open to change –
the more you work on yourself, the happier you will be in
all of your relationships.
| Authors Details: Relationship Advice
- Dr. Bill Grey Web
Site |
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