Love & Relationship
Advice
Love and relationship advice is hard to find. Please read on
and discover 10 questions about love that will help you evaluate
what you feel. This is handy relationship advice dont't ignore
it.
What
is love, really? How can we know that what we're feeling
is not infatuation? What's the difference? An important question
if you are currently in a relationship or if you hope to
be in one.
Distinguishing
this difference can be very challenging since we can't see
love, we can't weigh or measure it to see how great or small
it is. And if you are highly psychic, making the distinction
can be even more challenging because you may naturally feel
as though you "know" the person. But if we want to have happy,
healthy relationships, we need to identify our feelings accurately.
Lust and infatuation is like a drug, or a form of madness.
You are taken over by a whirlwind, you are consumed by thoughts
of the other person and nothing else matters. Your life suddenly
revolves around this person and you want to spend every waking
moment with him or her. You are in a dream, dizzy with bliss.
True love, on the other hand, is more a sense of friendship
and respect.
The surest way to distinguish love from infatuation is to
give your relationship the test of time. But while you are
waiting for time to tell, there are things you can watch
for.
Here are 10 questions that can help you evaluate your
feelings:
1. Can you be open and honest with your
partner without fear of rejection? Are you able to be yourself?
Or do you hide your weaknesses and try only to show your
strengths? When you truly love another, you don't concern
yourself with impressing your beloved. Rather, you are more
interested in serving your lover and you know that is easier
to do when you are honest.
2. Can
you accept the ways in which your partner is different
from you? Infatuation is self-centered, thinking primarily
of how the other person makes you feel. With infatuation,
you see the other person through "rose-colored
glasses." But real love is rooted in reality and acknowledges
the imperfections of another without judgment. It has a deep
respect for the other's individuality. When you truly love
another, you want to know what makes that person tick, why
they do what they do, why they think what they think. With
love, faults and weaknesses of the other person are recognized
and accepted.
3. Are
you able and willing to discuss your differences with your
partner? If you are your own person with your own thoughts,
you will experience differences. Can you communicate about
your disagreements lovingly? Can you "fight fair?" Love
can step out of its comfort zone in order to address the
differences in a relationship without harming it. Some
of us have been taught that if you love someone you'll
never disagree, never be angry or argue. Real love encompasses
all the emotions. The opposite of love is not hate. It
is indifference. And it's possible to be angry with, and
even hate someone that you love. A healthy love relationship
will allow you to express anger.
4. Do you care about the other person's,
dreams goals and plans? Do you desire his or her success?
To love is to be actively involved with a person's spiritual
purpose. It is the choice to give support, nurturing and
encouragement to your beloved's spiritual growth and attainment.
Real love seeks what is best for others and makes us want
to encourage them to grow. It considers the other person's
happiness and well-being. With true love, your partner's
well-being is just as important to you as your own and you
take actions to nurture that sense of well-being.
5. Can you see yourself going through the
mundane motions of life and growing old with your partner?
Infatuation is attraction, admiration, adoration... and is
mainly based on physical, or chemical connection, while real
love is based on spiritual connection - a common spiritual
understanding and shared purpose. It wouldn't matter if your
lover lost a leg, gained 300 lbs. or got burned in a fire.
With true love, you are attracted to much more than just
the physical. You are attracted to the soul of the person.
You want to see into your beloved's heart as much as you
want to touch him or her physically.
6. Do you feel good about yourself without
your partner's validation? Infatuation depends on others
for validation. When you truly love someone, you have a genuine
sense of security, confidence, self-reliance and self-respect.
Life is complete with or without your beloved. You're aware
that you and your partner have different gifts. You approve
of yourself just as much as you approve of your partner.
You take responsibility for your own life and you allow your
partner to take responsibility for his or her own life. You
can feel complete without your partner.
7. Are you able to give as well as receive?
True love makes giving of yourself to the other person as
easy and as fulfilling as getting something back. The relationship
is much more than what you are getting out of it. The give
and take are shared. Infatuation is want, need, but real
love is abundant and fulfilling. When we are fulfilled, we
find it easy to give. We can give even as we are receiving,
by utilizing what the other has to offer for our own spiritual
growth. This is a most powerful form of giving for it gives
meaning to the other person's gifts.
8. Do
you have a life of your own? With real love, you don't
live for the other person completely. You still have your
own direction in life. You're not afraid to "take your space" or
to give some to your partner. You allow enough space to
let the winds of heaven dance between you.
Other relationships, activities and interests continue to
be important to you. You see the goodness in all people,
not just your partner. Time and space can't separate you.
It's impossible to feel unfulfilled when you are truly in
love because you can always feel your beloved's presence,
therein lies the fulfillment.
9. How
would you feel if your love was unrequited? Could you love
the other person enough to respect his or her choices,
even if those choices exclude you? Real love needs nothing
in order to live. It is not dependent on being loved in
return. With true love, you are more focused on the "now moments" of
the relationship than on the future or outcome of it. Whether
or not your love is returned is of no consequence when
you truly love another. You may feel sad if your beloved
doesn't love you back, but it won't stop you from loving.
10. Does your love endure? If love is true,
the relationship will remain strong under the strains of
life. The relationship is more than just joy and happiness.
You can cry together, suffer together and even be angry together.
But whatever your experience, the love will always remain.
It is eternal. Infatuation will either develop into true
love or it will die.
If after reading this you've discovered that you are infatuated
and not really in love, take heart! Real love doesn't try
to force a relationship to grow. It respects its natural
pace. But you can greatly increase your relationship's chances
of moving to the next level by learning what people in true
love do and following that example.
| Authors
Details: Avalon De Witt Web Site |
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