Improving
Low Self Esteem With Affirmations
Positive self-esteem is very
important for our general health and wellness as human beings.
Having positive self-esteem is also important for promoting
any type of healing, whether physical, emotional or spiritual.
Poor or low self-esteem on the other hand can be quite detrimental
to our well-being and even our very existence. Negative self-esteem
can create anxiety, stress, loneliness, depression, problems
with relationships, seriously impair academic and job performance
and also can generate an increased vulnerability to drug and
alcohol abuse and dependency. On the other hand, a person
with positive self-esteem tends to be more motivated in taking
on and creating a life that he loves, living it powerfully
and in this process be authentically related to others in
his community. Having positive self-esteem appears to be necessary
for having a happy and healthy existence regardless of who
we are or what profession we are taking on in life.
What is self-esteem? We commonly
think that self-esteem is merely about how we feel about ourselves
at any particular moment. While seemingly existing in degrees,
we tend to believe that we have positive or negative self-esteem
and that we make that determination simply by how we feel
about ourselves. However, within a conversation of Transformational
Counseling, our feelings or emotions do not exist alone or
have an independent existence. We do not just simply feel.
Rather, for every feeling or emotion that we have, either
positive or negative, there is a corresponding thought that
we have about ourselves that generates the experience of self-esteem.
Whether positive or negative, self-esteem is merely how our
organism experiences the thoughts that the individual has
about himself or herself. If a person has positive thoughts
about himself he will experience positive or good self-esteem.
On the other hand, if the individual has negative thoughts
about who he thinks he is then he will experience poor or
low self-esteem. Therefore, to truly understand what self-esteem
is all about and more importantly to be able to alter it when
necessary for ones wellness or healing, we must first get
it that self-esteem is really about our thinking, and more
specifically about the thoughts that we develop or create
about ourselves. The thoughts or beliefs that we have about
ourselves are crucial in that they determine or create the
structure of our experience of self-esteem and the various
emotions associated with it.
We also tend to think of our
self-esteem as being something that is shaped by the events
that take place in our life, particularly those from our past.
We tend to believe that who we think we are and how we feel
about ourselves is merely the product, effect or caused by
the experiences that we have had in the past, that we are
who we are by virtue of what has happened to us as human beings.
More specifically, we tend to think that the cause in the
matter of who we think we are and our self-esteem is due to
circumstance, situation or others, people, places and things.
We do not tend to think that our self-esteem is something
we actually developed or created. Within the work of transformation,
it is not the past, circumstance, situation or others, that
determines our underlying self-image and corresponding self-esteem.
We created our thoughts and with it our emotions from the
meaning that we gave to the events that took place in our
life, especially at an early age. As meaning making machines
we give meaning to everything in our life including and most
importantly to ourselves. At an early age the meaning that
we give an event tends to be made out to be all about us.
While events do happen it is not the events that are important
but rather the meaning that we give them and especially how
we made it out to be about our identity.
Given the fact that our thoughts
determine our feelings or emotions and equally important that
we are truly responsible for their creation, to change or
transform our self-esteem, how we tend to feel about ourselves,
amounts to us altering how we see or conceive of ourselves
in the world in the now and this work is our responsibility
alone. It is our self-image, how we define ourselves as an
individual in the world in the present, that determines our
experience of self-esteem and it is this that we are truly
responsible for creating and equally responsible for transforming.
When we alter or transform our definition of ourselves in
the present we change how we feel about ourselves and with
it our experience of reality and life in general. If we do
not get it that we are responsible for what we think about
ourselves and that we are the real author of our self-image
and self-esteem we will continue to blame something or some
body, remain powerless and stuck in life. The question of
how to actually go about altering or improving an individual’s
self-esteem is one that has been debated for many years by
professionals both in the mental health and addiction arenas.
(Editors Note: Many
articles on thoughts and emotions here...)
Low self-esteem can be improved
or transformed in several ways. One way to improve ones low
self-esteem is to do the work of transformation as outlined
in my articles, Transformational Counseling and The Conversation
of Transformation. To improve ones self-esteem in this manner
is to become present to ones self limiting belief, that which
has stopped us in life and in the process create new possibilities
for oneself, a new self-image from which to begin to live
life into. Another way to improve an individual’s self-esteem
is through the use of positive affirmations. Given that the
basis of self-esteem is the thoughts that a person has about
himself, an individual with poor or negative self-esteem is
believing negative thoughts or ideas about who he thinks he
is. The individual may think, for example, that he is “worthless”
or “not good enough” and as a result will tend to experience
poor or negative self-esteem. Within the work of transformation
and Transformational Counseling, the thought that is at the
basis or core of our self-talk is defined as a person’s Self
Limiting Belief, the fundamental or core belief about who
we think we are. Unless this core thought or belief that a
person has about himself is changed or transformed he will
continue to experience a poor or negative self-esteem and
as a result of this negative thought pattern create or generate
life experiences that will match and validate what they think
about themselves. Given such a cognitive and emotional situation
life will continue to appear as it has in the past and ones
future will merely be the probable almost certain future.
Utilizing positive affirmations
can be a very powerful tool for transforming what a person
thinks about himself and as a result improve the individual’s
self-esteem. Consistent use of positive affirmations will
transform the negative beliefs about who a person thinks he
is into positive ones, will begin to alter the basis and structure
of his self talk or inner voice and produce a transformation
from poor self-esteem to positive self-esteem. While utilized
in a various ways, working with positive affirmations will
be more effective when delivered through or combined with
therapeutic relaxation music. What therapeutic relaxation
music does to enhance the effect of positive affirmations
is to create a very relaxed audio environment for the individual
to become even more open or suggestive to the language of
positive affirmations. When therapeutic relaxation music is
combined with binaural audio tones the audio space that is
created for the delivery of positive affirmations is even
more relaxing and as a result very powerful. In addition to
utilizing a unique type of therapeutic relaxation music, the
infusion of either theta or alpha binaural tones is crucial
for the success of this type of intervention. When therapeutic
relaxation music and binaural audio tones are combined in
this fashion the individual will experience a very deep state
of relaxation and as a result be more open to the reception
and eventual acceptance of the positive affirmations.
The key to the effective use
of positive affirmation in this or any other type of intervention
is consistency. The self-image and the negative thoughts about
who a person thinks he is that generates his experience of
poor or negative self-esteem is well established in the his
belief system. In many cases the development of a negative
self-image took years to create and has been reinforced through
repetitive behavioral validation. Once a person creates and
then believes that a self-limiting belief is true he will
continually act as if it is true. This seemingly fundamental
belief will appear to the person as true and as a result will
continually be acted upon and thereby be reinforced through
ones behavior. Much of that person’s behavior will be to continually
validate who he thinks he is. Ones behavior will always be
directed at supporting, reinforcing and validating what the
person believes is true about him. While necessary for ones
well-being and health, such a transformation of ones self-image
from being basically a negative one to one that is fundamentally
positive does not happen instantly. As with the development
of an individual’s negative self-image, the development of
a more adequate belief about the true nature of the individual
will necessitate consistent and repetitive work by the person.
Basic to this process is that the individual must fully embrace
his sense of complete responsibility for the development of
his self-image and also for its transformation. To do otherwise
will only leave the individual feeling powerless and unable
to create the life that he or she truly desires and unless
there is consistency and repetition such a transformation
will simply not happen.
| Authors Details: Improving Low Self
Esteem - Dr Harry Henshaw Web
Site |
More Articles On Self Esteem
(Building
Self Esteem)
(Improving Low Self Esteem)
(Self-Esteem: You Are Not Who You Think You Are) |
