One
of the hardest things in our lives can be letting go of the past.
We know we should do it, and we beat ourselves up inside when
we don't do it, and this of course, just makes the problem keep
coming back. When we dwell on an issue for too long, it hurts
our hearts and keeps us from being fully present in the moment.
When we are not fully present in the now, we aren't living our
lives to the fullest, and we are not free. You know this already,
but when you're dragging yourself down with a past event that
has haunted you, or still is haunting you, you often cannot see
a way out. You feel trapped. You ask yourself, "Will this never
end?" You want out but you feel too hopeless that there really
is a way out, a way to let go of an obsessive thought, or of
guilt you feel when you've blamed yourself, or the anger you
feel from blaming another. If you only knew how to get out, you'd
jump at the chance.
Perhaps
you're in a stressful ongoing event that you fear will never
end, or that you fear you just cannot get on with your life in
a particular situation. It may be true that a past or ongoing
event really has no "end" to it. Your life and the obstacles
in it will never truly be over and done with until you die. There
are just going to be some things (and people) in life that you
have no control over and sometimes you just have to accept that.
But there is a way you can let go of worrying, the past, or the
ongoing event so that you can be more present and get on with
your life in a more positive, accepting, and productive manner.
It's
called getting complete with the issue. What does "getting complete" mean?
It means that at any given moment, you are a complete person,
not dependent on your past, your situations, or what others think
of you. Being complete means you can let go. Letting go empowers
you to be responsible for your own life and your choices of who
you are and what you do. And I'll tell you a way to get complete.
But first you have to be willing to allow yourself to try something
new. If you are willing to do this, then you've taken the first
step. Below I have outlined a very simple, yet very effective
technique, that is like a guided meditation, on how to have some
completion in your life, so that you may let go. Personally,
I have found this powerful technique useful in even the most
difficult situations in my life, and believe me, just letting
go is one of the most difficult issues I've had. And after spending
a whole lot of time and money with personal development classes,
books, and alternative medicine, this is still one of the very
best things I've ever found. I hope you find it useful in bringing
you more peace and joy in your life. After all, you deserve it,
and your loved ones deserve to have you fully present with them
as well, not living in the past or under the pressure of situations
that can't be controlled, don't you think? Give it a try.
First,
do whatever you need to do to have 15 minutes or so alone, somewhere
quiet where you can relax, even if it's just in the shower. (Later
when you have more practice with this, you'll find you can do
it in a matter of moments wherever you are.) Take a couple of
deep breaths to help clear your mind. If you find writing out
things helps you think, then please consider writing out all
your responses to the following thoughts as you go through them.
Now
think to yourself, "What is the pleasure of [this issue]?" Try
to think of all the good things you enjoyed from the issue you're
doing this completion exercise on. Often there isn't any pleasure
in it and that's why you're doing the completion. Nevertheless,
you might find you like the adrenaline rush, or that it's easier
to sit in your suffering than face the fear of the unknown, etc.
Whatever it is, notice what you feel, sensations in your body,
emotions, and know that whatever you feel (or don't feel) is
okay.
Now
think, "What is NOT the pleasure of [this issue]?" Here's where
most of your complaints are. Notice how you feel when you think
about the issue. Are you feeling sad, anxious, angry, or numb
as if you can't feel anything but you know something is there?
Whatever you feel is okay. Just notice all the thoughts, images,
and feelings that come up. If you have a lot of intensity here,
sit with it until it begins to subside.
Now,
think about all the people involved that you need to forgive
regarding this issue. Include yourself in this, since self-forgiveness
is often the hardest one. Try to allow yourself to forgive even
the people who you don't think deserve it. If you can do this
even a little bit, it will help you. This is something you have
to feel inside of you, you can't just say "I forgive you," with
words. You may sit with this a few minutes if it is hard.
Next,
think about all the people you need to thank regarding this issue.
This may seem impossible in some cases, but try it nevertheless.
You may even have to just thank the person who gave you the motivation
or perseverance to come as far as you have already. Or just be
thankful for the lessons you have learned through all this. This
is a time to be grateful.
Now
it is finally time to let go. Imagine your issue being sealed
up inside of a balloon, which floats off into the sky until you
cannot see it anymore. Let yourself just feel empty, with this
issue gone, back into the universe to be recycled energy. Take
some deep breaths.
Finally,
you need to fill that space within you where that issue was,
do not leave it empty. Fill the space with something that is
pleasurable to you. You choose, some ideas would be more joy,
love, compassion, or peace. Open your heart to allow yourself
to receive. When you feel complete for the time being, then you
are.
Repeat
this procedure whenever you feel the need for some completion,
even if you have to do it over again for the same issue at a
later time. You'll feel more empowered to be in control of your
own life, which is the only thing you can control. When you choose
to be complete, and let go, then you are choosing your own destiny
and happiness. Then you are truly free.
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