| Germane: Greetings
to everyone. This is Germane. We'd like to thank you all for
coming this night. The title of session is "Fourth-Density Relationships".
We would like to encourage you to feel free to ask any questions
that are on your mind on the topic. We are going to start out
by talking about the transformation from third to fourth density.
As
you've heard us say many times, one of the characteristics of
third density is separation. Whether it be separation from the
God source, from each other, or separating aspects of yourselves
within yourselves. This idea of separation has been necessary
in third density to keep you in the third density experience.
We are not saying in any way, shape or form, that the separation
that you have been a part of on your world for the last several
thousand years is in any way wrong, bad, negative. It is part
of the experience that you have all chosen.
As
you are moving from the 3D into the 4D reality, one of the main
qualities of fourth density reality is integration, or reintegration.
Therefore, the laws or premises that you have in 3D reality (based
on separation) can no longer operate successfully in 4D. If you
attempt to carry the premises and beliefs of separation into
a 4D reality and refuse to let them go, you can literally tear
yourself apart emotionally. A lot of what many of you are feeling
in your own growth (whether it be relationships with lovers,
family, friends or yourself) is almost a sense of urgency about
letting go of certain things that have been carried for quite
some time.
This
feeling of urgency has to do with the idea, literally, that you
are moving from one vibrational reality to another. The set of
beliefs and premises that were operating in one reality cannot
be sustained in the next. So you are feeling that desire to shift
beliefs, to shift premises, and therefore shift the way you live.
To some degree it is as if someone has handed you a tangled ball
of yarn. There it is in your lap, you don't know where to start
to untangle it. The only thing you can do is start where the
easiest place is to start.
3D
Relationships
Bringing
this into the topic of relationships, the premises and beliefs
of 3D (separation) were necessary to maintain 3D relationships.
Let us share with you some of these principles.
Principles
based on separation can be as follows:
Secrecy.
This
has been a big one in your society. Secrecy is withholding information
from your partner or from yourself. Secrecy does not just operate
on the level of your interactions with others; secrecy keep you
separated from the greater portion of yourself, as well. The
idea of secrecy has been very important to maintain relationships
in 3D reality, because it is an expression of separation.
Fear-based
Monogamy.
Another
expression of separation is the expression of what you would
call monogamy, fear-based monogamy. We are not talking about
monogamy by choice, we are talking about monogamy through fear.
That has been an expression based on separation. The premise
basically is that if you can get someone to commit to you, then
you thus take yourself out of the flow of having to deal with
relationships and you are safe. You are separate from the rest
of the world. Separate and safe. This is monogamy based on fear.
Conditional
Love.
Conditional
love has been an expression which has been very vital to maintaining
3D-type relationships. Conditional love means that you will love
someone only if they fulfill your needs or conditions that you
set out. If they do not fill this, you will withdraw your love.
There has been a noncomprehension in 3D reality of the meaning
of unconditional love. When you are dealing from a separative
framework, the only way you can view everything else is through
that framework of separation. And so love therefore (the old
definition of love in 3D) is love based on conditions.
Expectation.
This
means that you go into a relationship with someone with expectations
in your mind that maybe you are not even aware of. If you are
aware of these expectations, you attempt to get the other person
to fulfill those expectations. Again, the person is used to satisfy
the need of the person seeking the relationship.
Manipulation.
This
is another quality often inherent in 3D relationships. This can
be very covert. It is overt in some cases, as well. However,
in the classic 3D relationship there can be very deep-seated
manipulation plays being done so that each person will get their
needs fulfilled or will be protected from their fears. So often
the idea of manipulation is carried out to protect you from your
own fears. If you manipulate the other person, you can thus not
feel your fear.
The
Need to Control
The
Need to Control is also a quality inherent in very solidly anchored
3D relationships. This is a mistrust in reality, that everything
is happening the way it needs to be, or for your greater good.
The need to control says you do not accept that idea. You thus
must instead shape the relationship, force it, mold it, because
you do not trust it will be what it needs to be by itself. We
will stop here because there is literally a lot more we can say
on this. It will come out later in the session. Let us go to
the 4D idea.
4D
Relationships
Since
4D is based on integration or reintegration, the characteristics
that were once status quo in 3D relationships can no longer be
sustained in 4D. Literally, the vibration cannot sustain separative
ideas. Qualities inherent in 4D relationships would be:
Honesty (Non-Secrecy).
The
couple or the unit must have, at all costs, honesty instead of
secrecy. This means if you see in your friend or partner that
they are doing something that is sabotaging to themselves or
to the relationship that you speak that observation instead of
withholding it (so you do not hurt the person's feelings), or
so that you can continue to control them being in the relationship.
Literally we are talking about polar opposites here. 3D is Secrecy,
4D is honesty. We cannot stress to you enough how important honesty
is in a 4D relationship. If there is no honesty, there cannot
be a continuation of that relationship in the 4D model. It is
that crucial.
When
we say honesty, we are also talking about honesty with the self.
Many of you will at times keep things from yourself to keep you
feeling safe. Within a 4D reality, it is very difficult to keep
things from the self. You may wake up one morning, and you may
suddenly realize that the relationship you are in no longer serves
you. That must be recognized for the flow to continue. We are
in no way saying, "You need to adopt these characteristics now!" Not
at all. You will do this naturally. However, in this transition
period now between 3D and 4D, you are being hit with qualities
from both. As this happens, you will need to make some choices
about how you wish to continue in your relationships. We will
state that if you choose the integrative model (the 4D model)
and you truly become that idea (not try to become it) you will
not feel the pain of loss in any situation, in any relationship.
You will only feel pain or loss if you are either in the 3D relationship,
or deluding yourself into thinking you are in a 4D relationship.
That will be when the pain of loss comes up. Again, we do want
to stress to all of you that we are not saying you must do this,
and you must move into 4D relationships. Not at all.
You
have choices. You can make the choices. It is entirely up to
you. However, we want to help illustrate for you the package
deal you may be signing up for if you make certain choices. It
is a package deal. If you make a choice based on separation (a
3D model), and then expect to live in a 4D relationship, it is
not going to happen. Recognize where your choices are based.
Make your continuing choices from there.
Let
us go back to the qualities of 3D and 4D relationships. 3D relationships
are based on secrecy and 4D on honesty; 3D based on conditional
love and 4D based on unconditional love. Every being has the
capability of experiencing more unconditional love than they
ever have from moment to moment. There is never a limit to unconditional
love. From this point, your experience of love has been 3D. Literally,
you will need to build your own definitions of unconditional
love because it can only be conceived of by experiencing it.
We know you've heard definitions. We know that all of you can
come up with definitions. But those definitions are partially
intellectual. They are not yet 100% brought down to the emotions.
Unconditional
Love
Unconditional
love is another vital part of 4D relationships. That means loving
someone with no conditions. If they don't fulfill your needs,
you still love them. If they do not carry out your expectations,
you still love them. You love them for being who they are without
attempting to change them. It is an in-the-moment type of experience,
whereas conditional love is always based on the past or future,
not in the present. Unconditional love is based in the present.
Absolute
Trust.
This
is the opposite of the 3D quality of the Need to Control. There
is no need or desire to control. It is not as if you must get
up each day and say, "I must trust today." It is a beingness.
When you wake up each day you are not worried about keeping your
spirit in your body. You don't focus on that. It just happens.
So, 4D is like that. The trust is there, it just happens. Control
vs. trust.
Allowingness.
This
is the opposite of manipulation. Allow. Allow the other person
to be who they need to be. Because only then will you truly see,
in fact, who they are. If you attempt to manipulate them, you
never see who they really are. You see who you need them to be.
Relationships
by Choice.
This
is the opposite of Monogamy from Fear. This means that if you
want monogamy, it is by conscious choice. If you want polygamy
or polyfidelity, it is by conscious choice. It is perfectly acceptable
for you to choose any of these things. All of these things are
inherently neutral. They do not have a built in meaning. You
ascribe them meaning by judgment. One is "better," one is "worse." All
of these choices are neutral, any that you choose can work for
you. However, if your conscious choice is to move into a 4D type
relationship, you will not be able to do that if you keep holding
on to any of the premises from 3D. They will need to be shifted
and rearranged.
As
you shift from a 3D to a 4D perspective, many people will in
fact experience fear. Literally you are going through uncharted
territory. You can't see necessarily what is over the next ridge.
So it is frightening for a lot of people. That is perfectly fine.
But if it is something you really want to pursue, let that fear
be okay. When you come out on the other side of the ridge, you
are going to realize that your identity is not based on another
person. Your identity is based on you. You are the only one with
whom you can rely on. You will feel that power, that clarity,
and that liberation and release that comes form recognizing your
own power.
It
is really interesting, because in 3D type relationships (separation),
you have the illusion of separation, but yet you create things
that remind you that you are still all connected. For instance,
humans use enmeshment in 3D to remind yourself you are still
connected. However, the way you've interpreted the idea of connectedness
has come out in a way that is detrimental to you rather than
supportive. Enmeshment is the 3D version of connectedness in
4D. It really is a matter of the way you look at it. When you
feel enmeshed with another person in your life and it hurts,
stop for a minute. Take some deep breaths. Remind yourself that
the enmeshment is there to remind you that you are never separate
from the other person ultimately. Separation is an illusion.
No matter how far away you go, you are not separate from the
person. If you can begin to emotionally heal the fear that you
will no longer be with a person, you are going to start to feel
the sense of connectedness that will then replace the 3D enmeshment
idea. You will no longer need to create fear through enmeshment.
You will thus create connectedness through your expressions in
all of your relationships. Many of the dysfunctional symptoms
in 3D are your way of reminding yourself of some of the qualities
of 4D relationships. But they are translated through the veil
of separation. So they come out a little askew. However, they
are there as reminders and tools. They are there to help you
ease the pain in your interactions with others.
Comments
or questions?
What
is the energy standpoint from 3D and 4D? We know that integration
is occurring on all levels. Seams are coming apart, and other
things are forming. We are going to be seeing changes. What
do you foresee?
For
one thing, these things started in the 1960s of your time. You
started to feel the shift of 3D to 4D in terms of the expressions
of your relationships, but you haven't known what was happening.
You haven't known that you could go with the energy and heal
it. Instead, you've tried to resist the change as a mass consciousness.
You've seen the great rise in divorce since the '60s. Much of
this is the resistance of the change until there is a snapping
point. Divorce is a 3D solution. Breaking. Separation. Divorce
is the idea of separating oneself to artificially create the
illusion that you are not connected to that person. The 4D version
of "divorce" will be the recognition of two people that the relationship
is going in a different direction, and that is allowed. There
is no separation, because you can never be separate. You allow
the other person to move in that direction. Energetically, you
are finding that everyone is touched by these energies. Each
person is reacting to them in the only way they know how. Some
people are denying them. Some people are swinging the pendulum
in the opposite direction. Some people are polarizing. Some people
are going with the flow. But you are going to find that this
issue is not going to go away. It is going to challenge you,
and challenge you, and challenge you until you can come face
to face with your own feelings of inadequacy and aloneness and
how you have sought relationships to fill that gap. Energetically
you will create less disharmony if you move with it. If you create
resistance, you will create more discomfort and pain.
When
I talk about these ideas regarding relationships with others,
they think all it has to do with is sex. No one seems to really
get the point.
The
buttons are pushed on sex because individuals will frequently
ascribe another reason to something as a distraction so they
do not have to look at the pain. Sex, being that it is an expression
of vulnerability, pushes people's buttons because they do not
want to be vulnerable. If they are vulnerable, they believe,
they are weak and open to attack. That, at all costs, is to be
avoided in their belief. So, they will blame sex. It is not the
issue, and never has been. It is a symptom. Your points of view
as a society on sex are symptoms of the greater dysfunction.
They have nothing to do with the problem. Energetically you are
going to find that as this change occurs, first and foremost
internally you are all going to go through changes. It may first
manifest outside of you. You may think it is a problem with your
relationship. It is not. It is your change inside that you are
seeing reflected in your relationship. Always, first level, is
inside of you. If you are resisting change, you are going to
start feeling pain, confusion, maybe even manifest all sorts
of physical symptoms. This will happen if you are not willing
to move with the changes that are occurring inside of you and
in the mass consciousness. If you are willing to move with it,
then you are going to start to see that maybe you will get more
emotional for a while, let some things out, then your relationships
are going to start to change. Change does not mean they will
end. Change does not mean destroy or divorce. Change means change,
and that is all change means. You can then move with these changes
and if there is a partner in your life, you can seek to help
them move through changes at the same time as you do. Trust that
the two of you are on the same path, no matter what choice happens.
We understand that many people in your society base personal
satisfaction or success on how their relationhips are going in
their life. That method of gauging can no longer to continue
to exist. It is an artificial construct that is giving you artificial
data generated by you so you don't have to face your fears. That
was a tool in 3D. In 4D, it is going to be very different. You
will see that if you resist claiming your own power, you will
continually seek relationships to validate your own being. If
relationships continue not to work and have conflict all the
time, the reason for that is that you are still using the relationship
to make you feel better. That cannot occur in a 4D type relationship.
You
indicated that the new relationships are by conscious choice.
All the other issues that you've touched seem to be mutually
accepting issues that people can accept totally on their own
and then share the fruits of those with another person. That
one seems to imply some sort of conditional acceptance by both
people of a mode to indicate a relationship in 4D.
No.
If we have explained it incorrectly, we apologize. Let us give
you an example of conscious choice. Let us say that you are in
a relationship with a man (or woman) in 4D. Here is an example
of what we are not talking about. You say to the person, "I want
a monogamous (or polygamous, whatever) relationship, and I will
continue this relationship with you only if you agree to that." No.
The choices are entirely for you. If you choose monogamy, then
it is only you who chooses not to have sex with others. You don't
require the other person to make the same choice. The choices
are all for you. They have nothing to do with the other person.
If you choose to be non-monogamous, then that choice is for you.
Your mate can do whatever they want. You only make the choices
for you and no one else. You do not demand that the other person
reciprocate. That is what we meant by conscious choice.
In
4D you are acting in the moment. So you are trying to act on
your excitement. How do you act on your excitement and include
future commitments? One could decide they want to conceive
a child because that is their excitement in the moment. But
that excitement includes a tremendous commitment with it over
time.
In
4D type relationships, the idea of commitment does not exist.
Commitment takes yourself out of the moment. If you stay totally
in the moment you are thinking of having a child, all of the
principles we've outlined for 4D come into play. Meaning absolute
trust. You do not have to plan for the future. It is trust. Do
you understand? So the idea of commitment is a 3D illusion. What
does it really mean? How many people make commitments and they
are not followed through? A commitment never insures your security.
It placates you into thinking you are secure. That is the difference.
In a 4D type relationship, with trust instead of control, allowance
instead of manipulation, there is no concern for the future because
there is a knowingness that it will all take care of itself.
If you have a 4D woman who wants to have a child, she will not
have the child based on the hope or desire that the father will
be there. That brings him in to something that is entirely her
creation. That idea cannot exist in a 4D reality. Therefore,
if a 4D woman wants to have a child, she has the child because
she wants the child. Because she wants the child, there is absolute
trust and allowance that everything will be perfectly fine. If
the woman is Pleiadian, this is reflected in their society's
philosophy. They are all part of the same family anyway. It is
different from what you see here, although your society will
change. Pay attention to when you take yourself out of the moment.
So,
if it is your excitement in the moment to conceive a child
(and your true excitement, not a compulsion), then in 4D thinking
you would have absolute trust that everything from there on
out would work fine because you followed your excitement in
the moment.
Absolutely!
If you continued to follow your excitement all the time from
moment to moment, there is no reason to think you could ever
not trust.
So
you wouldn't think that tomorrow it may not be my excitement
to have this child. You would just trust.
Exactly.
If you are in the moment, totally and absolutely, then after
the baby is born, each day, in the moment, there is that child.
In the moment, you can love it. In the moment, whatever is there
in your reality you recognize as a part of your creation and
who you are. There will never be a time where you will say, "Oh,
I made a mistake in having this child." Never.
Okay.
And also there is an inherent love for your creation, and therefore
always an excitement for your creation? It is just a matter
of recognizing always in the moment that it is your creation.
Not just a child, but any reality that you create.
Yes.
One of the reasons why you've had difficulty owning your creations
is because you are not in the moment, you are in the past or
the future. It is very hard to see what it is you've created
when you are not in the present. If you are totally 100% in the
present, you clearly and consciously can own every creation that
you've ever had. Very simple. No effort.
In
3D we've been living in polarities and extremes. As near as
I can see those extremes have led us into addictions and dependency.
The dependency we feel is that we want someone to fulfill our
needs. Therefore, we become dependent on the other person.
Then in 4D, is all dependency gone?
Yes.
Dependency cannot exist in 4D because 4D is integration and not
separation. Dependency is a quality of separation depending on
something outside of you. In 4D, there is a recognition of yourself
as the creator, and so when that recognition is there, you cannot
put that outside of yourself. It is an equation that doesn't
work.
I'll
have to state the analogy and then find the question. We stuff
our issues in a box and seal the box with a lid called "sex." This
is why the issue of sex frequently brings up our issues. Because
we open the box and have to lift the lid, so all the issue
come crawling out. Is there a way to get at the issues without
using sex to trigger them?
Sex
is only one symptom. Recognize that there are many lids that
cover that box. Sex is just one of those lids. Each person will
be able to get at those issues through whatever lid they have
that triggers it. For some people it is sex. For others it is
money. Some people's issues are not triggered by sex. For others,
sex is a really good trigger. It really depends on the individual.
I
always find myself not making certain choices because I am
sensitive to others. I would rather not cause problems for
them. I don't want to hurt other people.
This
is a very good question. You have voiced the mass consciousness
here. One of the greatest gifts that you can give the people
in your life is being 100% you. This means that you be absolutely
honest in all interactions and not take responsibility for their
pain. We know this is a big one for most people on your world.
You cannot ever be responsible for other people's pain. Some
of you have walked down the street and you've seen your friend.
You say, "Oh, you got a haircut. It looks nice." The friend then
freaks out and think you are patronizing them. You've all had
experiences like this where you've been totally misunderstood.
You must, at all costs, express yourself while not taking responsibility
for the reaction. You can say nice things all the time, and still
push people's buttons.
That
is what I've been finding out. I've finally been making choices
for myself, and people have been getting upset. But I still
want these people as friends.
You
cannot sacrifice your own growth and the growth of others for
a relationship based on illusion.
Well,
most of these people have been part time meta-fizzlers. They
like the concepts, but they don't want to apply them in their
lives.
Good
term. We might borrow that one. This is another one of those
topics where we can't stress enough to you that the greatest
service you can provide to your neighbor is being fully who you
are. Let us give you an example using a fictional model. Let's
say that a woman is afraid of heights. And let's say that she
came into this life to resolve a lifetime where she jumped off
a cliff. Let us also say that her husband recognizes that she
is afraid of heights. So he makes sure she never is around anything
high. How is she easily going to be able to face what she came
here to face if the husband keeps steering her away from the
heights? It makes it more difficult. It prolongs the pain. If,
in the husband's excitement he says, "I want to go hot air ballooning.
Do you want to come with me?" She may just say yes because she
recognizes it is something to move through. She cannot do that
unless the husband gives her the opportunity to face those issues.
This is what we mean by enmeshment. You've lost the boundaries
between you and other people. You try to protect other people.
But in reality, you are really only trying to protect yourself
from their anger, disapproval or invalidation. So the husband
thinks he is protecting his wife from her fear. What he is really
doing is protecting himself from being witness to her pain, or
from guilt that maybe he caused her pain. He is protecting himself.
At the same time, he is enabling the wife to continue being afraid
and avoid her fears, when that is what she came here to face!
The biggest gift you can give anyone in your life is to be fully
100% who you are. It is then that each person will be challenged.
It is then that each person can take responsibility for their
lives, fears, and emotions. Those emotions and reactions are
never caused by someone else. They all come from you. The greatest
gift you can give in a relationship is to not hold back who you
really are.
That
is one of my button-pushers here. I don't think you have the
right to emotionally hurt another person. If they don't ask
you to be completely honest and hurt them, why do you have
the right to hurt them?
There
is a big difference between deliberately hurting someone and
being who you know yourself to be. If the husband dragged the
wife to the top of the cliff and forced her to look over the
edge, that is deliberately hurting her. Being who he is naturally
is not hurting her. If she chooses to be hurt, it is her choice.
But there are no victims. There cannot ever be victims. If you
ever believe in any instant that someone else can hurt another
person, then you polarize between victims and hurters. That is
then the way you will see the universe. There is a big difference
between deliberately hurting someone and being fully who you
know yourself to be. You may not ever know what will hurt your
mate. In your innocence and excitement, you may take her to one
of those cliffs not knowing about that fear. How can you protect
yourself from doing that? You can't. The outcome is the same.
The only thing you can be is fully who you are. That is empowerment.
That is disengaging yourself from the covert connections you
have with people, and recognizing the greater spiritual connections
that you all have that you have always had. You can never hurt
another person. Never!
If
you are not being your 100% natural self, then you are manipulating
people around you. I don't see there is an exception to that.
I've examined times in my communications with others where
I've "softened the blow." My partner and I have thought that
our excitement would be too much for the other person. In second
guessing what the other person's reaction would be and then
altering our natural self expression, we've always screwed
up the communication.
You
compromise your integrity when you withhold. If you do not express
who you are, you are lying. You are lying to yourself. You are
lying to the other person. That is an even greater hurt than
the truth. Then they only know you through your lies. They do
not know who you are. They cannot ever love you for who you are,
because they don't know who you are. Withholding your excitement
for fear of hurting another is a 3D idea. You cannot carry this
into 4D if you want to truly express who you are. If you look
at a Pleiadian, they would never be hurt by the comment of another.
This is because they recognize that they create all comments
that happen. They are the ones generating their reality. They
cannot be victim of hurt. If you are continually protected from
the anger of another (just like if you are continually protected
from the cold), someday you are going to have to go outside and
because you've never felt the cold, it is going to be devastating
to you. It is, in one way, honorable that you care about the
feelings of another. But in one way, it is also insulting. This
is because you do not allow them to ever fully be who they are.
You protect them from the things that you fear, not necessarily
the things they fear. This is a no win situation.
What
if you find yourself wanting to express following your excitement
100%, and yet you find that others are telling you that it
would hurt them? How do you deal with those situations in the
transition we are in now between 3D and 4D?
At
the risk of sounding really rude, to hell with what the others
think. You may tell others that you understand what they are
saying, but to hold it in would eat you up inside. Be truthful.
To hold this in will be lying to the other person. You can tell
them that. If they don't agree with you, that is their choice.
But we don't believe that most of you really know what happens
to you inside when you hold back truth. When you hold back that
which you are, it submerges itself. It buries itself into your
cells. It starts building painful toxins first on the emotional
level, and then actually on the physical level. If you do not
express who you are 100%, you must store those judgments of who
you are inside of you. Those judgments eat you up. Cancer, heart
disease, and all of those lovely things you have on your planet
are a result of your own judgment that you are not worthy to
be fully who you know yourself to be. You stuff it. The more
you stuff it, the more diseased you get. Literally. Stuffing
these things can cause tremendous pain throughout your life.
Releasing these things will cause ecstasy. You can retrain yourself
to know who you are and the first step is that in a confrontive
situation, first think what it is you want to say. Let yourself
think it first. Many of you don't let yourself think about what
you really want to say. You stuff it before you can really cognize
the idea. Write it down. Say it into a tape recorder. Get comfortable
with who you are. This will naturally teach you to express yourself
without the heavy judgment you've had in the past. But if you
are not even allowing yourself to think these thoughts, you are
not going to be able to train yourself to speak them. You won't
know what the thoughts are. Let it be okay to start thinking
them. Write them down. Externalize them. Get them outside of
your energy field so they don't lodge in your energy body. You
are all divine portions of the creator. Your design is built
to 100% every moment channel the energy of All That Is. All That
Is is neutral. All That Is is neither positive nor negative.
It is stasis, balance. When you deny and shut off any part of
yourself, you shut off the very foundation of the energy of your
creation. You judge that only parts of you are worthy and the
other parts are not. It throws you into disharmony. Therefore
all of your relationships to some degree have disharmony, reflecting
that which you feel within. You cannot withhold any portion of
you. You will be able to learn to tell when what you have to
say is balanced an integrated compared to when what you have
to say is an attack or is a manipulation. You will learn how
to tell the difference. The more you practice, the more you will
be able to tell. If you feel you want to take gradual steps into
this idea of expressing who you are, then before you express
get yourself centered and feel if what you have to say is balanced
and integrated or do you have a desire to be fulfilled by your
expression to that person. If you do (to get them to do something,
for instance), then there is a hidden motivation and the expression
may not be clean. But by all means at least express it to yourself.
Know who you are. Listen to your thoughts and feelings. Get out
that pent-up energy. Your relationships are going to blossom
and change when you stop taking responsibility for the other
person's reaction. Before you express something, ask yourself
what desire you have in the expression. Sometimes you may find
that the desire is to change the other person. That is not a
clean idea. Sometimes you can see that. Other times you cannot.
There are times when you cannot see it, times when you say to
yourself, "It is clean as a whistle," and you express your thought.
If that expression is an attack, you are expressing it to someone
who has a belief system that they can be attacked. So what you
are doing is providing for the other person a way for them to
heal their belief systems by providing that stimuli. In the expression,
whether it is attacking or not attacking, you provide a way for
the other person (the recipient) to learn and to grow. If they
have no issue about being attacked, they are not going to feel
attacked. If they believe they can be attacked and that is one
of their issues, they will feel attacked. Again, you cannot take
responsibility for how the person reacts. You don't know how
they are going to react! They may not be triggered at all. Your
interactions with each other are choreographed in perfect synchronicity.
There is no reaction that doesn't belong. All expressions belong
in the context they are expressed. It cannot be any other way.
There are not mistakes in creation. There are no wrong things.
There is only neutral expression, and the synchronicity of All
That Is. If your wife walks up to you and says, "You are a jerk," if
you feel hurt, then that's part of the synchronicity for your
own growth.
I
understand that. That wasn't my question. Let's say my wife
walks up to me and says I'm a jerk, and she does it after she
has thought about it and believes it is clean and is not an
attack. Let's also say I have no emotional reaction to it,
so it's fine. She can tell me I'm a jerk, and that's cool.
If she has perceived that she is clean on it, and if it is
indeed an attack...
Then
she will eventually make the recognition because your lack of
reaction will not satisfy her needs. So it's essential for her
to express that, whether she thinks it's clean or not.
Okay,
I was just picking hairs because I thought you were saying
that we all will be able to discern all the time whether what
we wanted to say was clean or not, and I don't agree with that.
In fact, I'm not saying that it has to be clean. I'm just saying
that it is our experience that we will not be able to discern.
In the addictive state, we will not be able to discern what
is clean and what is not. One of the things I think is so wonderful
about relationships is that we can love each other enough to
be mirrors for that discernment.
Yes.
All right, let us clarify. We apologize if the language was misleading.
We suggest that as you're training yourself to express that you
first ask yourself if it's clean or not clean. If it's not clean
and you can recognize it, then go ahead and process it however
way you want to do it. If you think it's clean, then express
it, because that in itself is part of the growth process. We
did not mean to imply that every time you analyze it you'll have
the answer. That is not what was implied.
What
if it is your excitement to do something (like go to the movies)
that your mate is not excited about?
If
your excitement is based on another person's cooperation, it's
not true excitement. If it's your excitement to take your wife
to a dance, but your excitement is based on her cooperation,
it's not clean. If it's your excitement to go dancing for the
sake of dancing (not based on anyone else's excitement), then
it's clean, and in your excitement if she is truly excited, then
you will have matched your vibrations.
What
is the fine line of deliberately hurting another individual?
If you talk about something with your mate, knowing that it
will hurt that person emotionally, do you have the right to
hurt that person or could you just channel that energy of excitement
in another direction?
You
will never 100% always know what will hurt someone.
But
if you do.
But
you can't know. It is not possible. You may walk up to your husband
one day. He may be feeling absolutely joyous and ecstatic, and
you may say, "You look like a pig today." And if he feels really
good about himself, that's not going to hurt him in the least.
You cannot ever know what will hurt another person. So stop trying
to take responsibility for the other person's reactions!
Is
all this based on a concept of victimhood? I don't think you
mentioned victimhood per se in the third- to fourth-density
relationships model.
Well,
third-density relationships often express victimhood. Fourth-density
expresses self-responsibility and self-empowerment. Victimhood
would come into it, but we didn't make it a major point. We are
not sure that you are understanding or accepting the concept
that we are saying. If your husband is 100% in his Godself and
in his joy and excitement, you could say the nastiest thing to
him in the world, and it will not hurt him. You can never hurt
another person. They can choose to feel hurt. You cannot hurt
another person, ever, because each of you (like it or not) are
totally responsible for your own emotions and reactions. This
in and of itself can be a great freedom, because it's the way
to take your power back. Recognize that the bottomline intention
is never to destroy but always to love. Even the most heinous
acts are an outcry to learn love. That is the bottomline intention
of creation, underneath everything else. And every action is
based on that intention of learning to love. Examine your beliefs.
If you really believe that Creation is Love, if you really, really
believe that, then every action, every instance must support
ultimately that belief. If you believe that actions can actually
hurt, then there's got to be a belief somewhere in there which
says that God or Creation can be hurtful.
Maybe
I can help clarify things for the questioner. No other person
knows what is going to hurt me. And to withhold a comment because
it will hurt someone is assuming responsibility for their emotions
and thus for their growth. No one else in this room is prepared
to accept responsibility for another human being's growth.
To do so will actively (if they're in a weakened or unempowered
state), inhibit that growth and actually sabotage their own
life's growth and the things their chosen to confront. It will
lock your relationship into third density, also. This was something
I was going to ask in direct relation to the earlier question.
Let's say I'm in my relationship with my husband and I say
to him, "If you have dinner with another woman, that hurts
me, so don't tell me about it if you do that because that hurts
me and I don't want to hear about it." That's okay to ask for
that, but that's secrecy and it's third density. Right?
Yes!
So
it's fine, but it's choosing third density instead of fourth.
Yes,
there's nothing wrong with it, but recognize that's what you're
choosing, so you can't expect a fourth-density relationship if
you are choosing third-density interactions.
If
you choose third density, then you're right, he has no right
to tell me that or to force that upon me. But isn't that also
expecting conditional love? [Everyone in unison] Third density!
You're
making a choice based on third density, secrecy, so all the other
parts of the package deal go with it.
Where
does the hurt come from and why is it still there if we're
in this transition and we should be looking at these fourth-dimensional
relationships? Why do we feel third-dimensional hurt?
You
are looking at the fourth-density relationships. In letting go
from the third density to the fourth density, many people are
choosing to feel the hurt. Almost in the same way as when you're
frostbite, and you start getting the feeling back in your feet
that it really hurts. It's a significator. Many people are using
it that way, to remind you that you can still feel. So it is
quite all right to continue to choose third-density principles.
Absolutely, it's fine. It's all equal anyway. However, do not
expect to choose third-density principles and expect the package
deal that comes with fourth density, because the cruise control
does not come with third density. It's one package or another
package. You cannot mix the packages! In all honesty, those in
the room, reading this, and listening to the tape are groundbreaking
these ideas. These are threatening ideas for a lot of people,
and those who do choose to embrace the fourth-density principles
are going to choose to be exposed to the ground breakers. You
all must start identifying yourselves and sticking together!
If
I have truly chosen fourth-density relationships or to move
into fourth-density relationships which are by choice, honesty,
unconditional love, allowance, I won't feel any pain, correct?
If I'm feeling pain in my relationship, then actually...
You're
holding onto something from third density.
So
whenever I feel pain, then I need to go back and look at this
versus that, honesty versus this and find out which concept
I'm holding onto.
Exactly,
exactly. If you could 100% embrace the fourth-density idea of
relationships, no, you will not feel pain. But some of you are
holding onto some of the third as your are grasping for fourth,
and you're feeling the pain, which an indicator that you are
making the change, and that's quite all right. But if you feel
that you're really in fourth but there's still this one thing,
then go back and examine what premise or belief that you have
that is based on third-density separation.
Again,
let me repeat myself. If you are feeling any pain in a relationship,
then I am desperately trying to hold onto some third-density
concept within that relationship.
Yes,
exactly. Now, with respect to your channel, we will have a short
break.
Authors
Details:
Lyssa
Royal
Germane Channeled
Lyssa
Royal is an internationally known channel and author. Germane
considers himself to be a non physical group consciousness
associated with the Orion Light - a future integrated
version of the galactic family of which we on Earth are
a part.
He chose the name "Germane" because of it's english definition: "Coming
from the same source, or significantly relevant to." There
is no connection to St. Germain.
The
Authors Web Site |
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