The
quality of your relationships are directly related to what you
think. How and what you think actually determines the quality
of your relationship. Thinking is how your mind interprets the
energy around you. The energy around you is what appears to be
happening in your life now.
Your
mind is the tool that is used to interpret this energy. The information
you receive is determined by how you interpret this energy. The
quality of your information is dependent on the struggle between
your ego and your higher self. Whoever has the dominant position
influences your thinking towards one of the poles. The poles can
be translated to one of the following,
1.
Positive or negative thinking.
2.
Love or fear based thinking.
3.
Good or bad.
Essentially
relationships are about communication. That means that you are
conveying a message to someone or that you are interpreting their
message to you.
You
think in concepts and pictures. The pictures that you formulate
are then turned into words. This is where you encounter difficulties.
You
have heard the cliché, "A picture tells a thousand
words."
This
statement is correct and leads to the following problems. This
is why communication breaks down.
1.
You get lazy and use fewer words than are necessary to convey
your picture.
2.
Your vocabulary has a limit and therefore your ability to translate
your picture is limited.
3.
Your words don't describe your picture because you focus on your
own emotional needs that arise when you interpret energy. Emotion
is what drags an interpretation towards one of the poles. When
you communicate this prevents you from focusing on your delivery
and the feedback you receive from the other person that is essential
to effective communication.
There
are only two types of relationships. The relationship you have
with yourself and the relationship you have with the outside world.
1.
The relationship you have with yourself.
The
relationship you have with yourself is based upon how you interpret
what happens around you at any given time. In turn you make this
interpretation based on what happened yesterday.
This
means that every event is interpreted by you based on the state
of your mind in the past because that's when you interpreted the
last event. You are heavily influenced by your past and all of
your thinking is biased towards one of the poles.
This
is great news. Every event and it's interpretation is subjective.
It can lead you to where you are going or it can take you away
from your goals. You have control.
To
improve the relationship with yourself you need to communicate
your picture or concept to your ego in a positive way. You need
to train your mind to do this. To train your mind you act on having
a positive focus and you practice this. Review what has happened
in the past and apply the positive focus on what is about to happen
now.
Use
positive affirmations to redraw your pictures. It's
that simple but it requires constant effort.
2.
The relationship you have with the outside world.
The
relationship you have with the outside world is identical. What
happens to you is based on how you interpret the event, not what
the event is. That's why "Every cloud has a silver lining."
If
your goal is a loving relationship and you and have just parted
company with your partner then this can be interpreted in two
ways.
1.
You can see this as negative. You have failed, you are going
to be alone.
2.
You can see this as good. You are one step closer to your true
love, you have some much need contemplation time and you have
learnt enormously empowering you with greater skills for the
next relationship.
The
difference is what you focus on and how you interpret the event.
If
you are not in a state of awareness and several consecutive relationships
end in the same way it is easy to interpret the next event with
a certain bias towards the negative.
Be
aware that each event is a new opportunity and you can interpret
and respond as you wish.
Here
is the secret!
Your
relationships with the outside world are just a reflection of
the relationship you have with yourself.
If
you are angry, either overtly or covertly, you will find that
you are surrounded by other angry people. If you are sad you will
find and be attracted to other sad people. Guess what happens
if you are happy? Yes, you will find yourself surrounded by other
happy people.
You
should really be smiling now. What you can do is simply look around
and determine the quality of your existing relationships. This
is the indicator of what is happening internally with you.
Whatever
it is that you want to be different you need to,
1. Identify this quality.
2.
Locate the quality in yourself.
3.
Change the quality in yourself.
The
result of this a change in your outside relationships to reflect
your new inner state.
Sounds
simple and I can guarantee that this will improve all your relationships
dramatically. Every day is a new day. You have the ability and
the opportunity to recreate you and your relationship to yourself
every moment of every day. Its just a matter of
1.
Your perspective.
2.
A 'yes' response to the question are you willing to change you?
3.
Action on a moment to moment, day to day basis.
Start
now.
