Preparations for Sex Magick
“Spectacular achievement is always preceded by spectacular preparation.”
Robert H. Schuller
The first thing is being a good body with your body!
Human bodies are beautifully shaped and wondrously working temples of the soul; in sex magick the body literally is the temple in which the divine is worshipped, and the genital area is the altar. Yet so many of us are unfortunately raised with the idea that our genitals are ugly. Why for heaven’s sake? Why is it considered to be very romantic if a poet describes the beautiful eyes, face or breasts of a woman, and why is thought to be obscene if he mentions the attraction of an opened vulva? Why are male strippers sexy while wearing a string and don’t the women want them completely naked? Has God forgotten something or is there something strange going on in society? The idea of genitals being a less accepted body part has everything to do with the belief system of Christian and Islamic based societies having difficulties with accepting sexuality.
In this age you’re allowed to think for yourself. Look into the deepest you and ask yourself what you really find of the vulva of a woman when she in excitement opens up for you like a flower, swelling and more coloring, spreading a musky odor and an inviting moisture? And let your heart speak if a man’s testicles are swelling, his penis is hard and big and his breath is deepening. He is proud of it himself, and why shouldn’t you be? Nature/the Goddess has granted us the gift of being Gods ourselves; through these ‘ugly’ genitals we can create a ‘beautiful’ baby – isn’t this way of thinking completely insane? To me the Indian approach with openly yoni (the vagina) and vajra or lingam (the penis) worship is much healthier.
Western society brings female attraction in connection with big breasts and the value of a man with the length of his penis – let’s pray to God that extra-terrestrials never find out this ridicule.
Another commonly spread idea is that our buttocks should better not be exposed. The truth is however that both men and women get attracted and excited about the butts of their partners, whether they are ideally shaped according to certain standards or not. Numerous periodicals show models size 34 to 36 with a body-fat percentage of 10, while average women have 22 – 26 percent body-fat. Mother Nature does not agree with the ‘ideal’ image of nowadays – beneath a certain amount of body-fat women simply won’t get pregnant. Many low-weighted ballet dancers and sufferers of anorexia / bulimia don’t menstruate! In earlier days the idea of beauty was much heavier – if you look at the beautiful Greek goddesses or the women depicted on 17th till 19th century paintings we would nowadays consider them to be rubinesque. The moral behind this story is that the idea of what is beautiful or not depends very much on the standards of a certain time. So please throw all this social nonsense overboard. Accept your body as a miraculous instrument that does anything you want it to do; secondly accept its unique shapes, unless your overweight is negatively influencing your wellbeing.. In that case go to a gym or sports school and adapt healthy eating habits. Working out regularly not only improves your physical health and appearance, but it also increases your sex-drive and heightens your self-esteem. Once you start it will become a ‘healthy addiction’ and it will help you with the prolonged sexual activity of sex magick.
The second thing is having an open and respectful approach of sexuality.
In the book ‘Conversations with God’ Neale Walsch asks how we could best express sexual energy. And Gods answer is: “Lovingly. Openly. Playfully. Joyfully. Outrageous. Passionately. Sacred. Creative. Shameless. Sensual. And of course regularly.” About masturbation God states “give yourself enough pleasure and you will dispose of enough pleasure to give away to others”. For those who wonder whether sex should be openly discussed and celebrated I hope this is an answer. Sex can be a fantastic way of deep communication between two people and with the inner you. Positive sexual experiences are very healing on psychological and physical level (yes, physical ailments and diseases have been cured by having sex) and they repair lesions in the auric shield. Accepting and enjoying the pure you provides a strong connection with the forces of ever-creative Great Mother Nature, and it reminds us of being gods ourselves. In this way oral sex becomes an intimate way of worshipping the god or goddess in your partner through adoring the genitals, being the physical representation of the male or female deity. In oral sex the active partner connects the spiritual chakras in the head with the sexual and creative chakra of the receptive partner, another connection between spirituality and sexuality.
Sex makes room to experience both our male and female side, and to alternatively be active and passive, electric and magnetic; thus it enhances inner balance and we cherish the inner lover. Sexuality and spirituality are two sides of the same coin; they both aim at feeling fantastic, being in the present moment (the never-ending now), dissolving barriers with other realms, connecting with the divine, experiencing oneness, timelessness, void and ecstasy. Only their starting point differs: sex starts in the lowest chakras while spirituality is seated in the higher chakras.
Once there is room for acceptance of yourself and your lover, accompanied by trust of and respect for one another, you will experience love, there will be surrender to your partner and the sexual force and the divinity inside can express itself. This kind of sexuality will lift you up beyond genital and physical sensations and lead to inner peace, happiness, strength and spiritual growth.
Although you can perform sex magick using only the strong physical energy of sexuality (on the level of the second or sex chakra) a higher form of sex magick can be achieved once you can honour the divinity inside (up till the 13th chakra of transformation).
It may be clear that sex magick leaves no room for prudery, hidden sexual agendas or conflicts of power between male and female forces.
Conscious use of the breath is quite important in sex magick.
Any type of bodywork teaches that breathing deeply is important to relax, to free yourself from mental occupation and to get more in contact with your feelings. But there is more: Breathing deeply helps to charge your sexual battery. Breathing deeply helps to postpone orgasm/ejaculation. Partners can circle and increase energy when the active partner inhales through the nose and exhales through the genitals, while the receptive, or other partner inhales through the genitals and exhales through the nose. (This is partly a mental process.) Partners can also synchronize inhaling and exhaling to tune into each other.
In sex magick we breathe into the magical goal we visualize and/or affirm. And finally we can breathe our orgasmic energy into the chosen reality or intention. Increase the awareness of your breath by taking at least several complete yoga respirations a day in the open air: First empty your lungs, slowly fill up your belly with air, then your chest and finally your upper lungs up till your throat. Hold on this air for a while and then start exhaling; first press the air out of your belly with your muscles, then out of the chest area and finally out of the upper lungs. When you have released all the air from your body keep it that way for a while. Slowly inhale from the belly, etc. This is also a very effective way to release stress and increase mental clarity.
Strengthening exercises of the muscles in the pelvis will enable you to selectively increase and decrease sexual arousal. By deliberately contracting these muscles erections will be stronger, while erotic sensations and orgasms in both men and women will be intensified.
Let’s start with the pubococcygeus muscle on the pelvis floor.
You’ll get to know this muscle by deliberately stopping the flow of urine several times. The way of exercising this muscle is as follows: contract it as if you stop urinating and at the same time move it upward as if you wish to pull your genitals inside your belly. Women can put one or two fingers in the vagina doing this exercise and will notice that the vagina will gently contract too. Men will notice a bobbing up of the head of the penis during contractions.
Advantages of this exercise for both sexes are stronger sexual feelings and curing/preventing of urinary stress incontinence. Further advantage for women is indirect stimulation of the clitoris and for men an increased erectile potency.
The second important muscle system can be exercised by contracting the anal sphincter, as if you are trying to hold back the stool, again accompanied by upward movements of the genitals. If you contract this sphincter strongly you will notice that it is connected with other muscles in the pelvis.
A good way of energizing yourself is the regular exercising of these muscles while visualizing the life energy spiraling upwards along your spine, through your head and moving downward to your genitals again through the front side of your body. In women the anal sphincter is connected with the vaginal sphincter and other vaginal muscles. By deliberate contractions women can learn to independently contract the vaginal sphincter, the muscles along the vagina wall and the anal sphincter. Why should they do that? Learning a fluid contraction that starts in the vaginal sphincter and spreads upwards to the womb, as if you are ‘milking a cow’ gives the penis a massage. You can also start these contractions at the cervix and work downwards to the vaginal sphincter. This way women increase the erotic feelings of both their partner and themselves. Contracting the vaginal sphincter during intercourse will help maintain male erection. Strong contractions of all vaginal muscles at the brink of his orgasm, followed by rhythmic ‘milking’ movements will intensify orgasm in men.
Once you have learned how to control your pelvic muscles you can consciously relax them to take off sensual pressure at the point-of-no-return and thus postpone ejaculation. So contract them to arouse, and relax them to back off (this goes for both men and women).
Authors Details: Preparations for Sex Magick by Anja Heij – Unknown Web Site