“Fear is the foundation of all human limitations.”
Benny the Jet
Benny the Jet was a fighter, a kickboxer. Although very small in stature he has ventured to fight much larger opponents in full contact tournaments and he has beaten them. An achievement which earned him some acclaim. Before you say, “hey! I thought that this was a spiritual publication” think carefully and reflect over your life. What fears have stopped you doing something and what rewards have you missed out on?
Fear is only an emotion not a brick wall.
We have discovered that you are not your thoughts. We have discovered that you are not your emotions. Thoughts and emotions happen through you as a result of you interactions with the world based on your perception of the past.
What you must realise is that all of the thoughts and emotions you have
1. Can be changed to suit you.
2. Do not have to determine your actions, or you don’t have to act on them.
Last time you learnt of goals and setting targets. It is important to move forward into the direction that you wish to go. I deliberately use the words ‘move into’ because that’s what you do. You don’t move towards your goal as if it was a never reachable / achievable ideal. You literally merge with it. You move forward and become what you want.
What stops you? Fear.
Fear is an interesting emotion and comes from a series of thoughts. These thoughts are expressed and form a picture of what you don’t want to happen.
The ideal is to focus on what you do want to happen.
Whatever you focus on you move towards.
Just because you have a series of thoughts that create an emotion does not mean that you can’t act. The emotion is independent of the ability to act.
Here are some physical examples that illustrate the possibilities.
If you are about to parachute from an aeroplane you may feel fear but you can still perform the action. A fighter may feel fear whilst he faces his opponent but he can still perform.
You may feel fear at the thought of public speaking. You can still actually speak whilst in the company of this emotion.
If you look at the pattern of thoughts that precede the emotion you will see that your focus is on what you do not wish to happen. There is a direct correlation between the amount of thought you give in this direction to the power of your fear.
Of course there are other factors that complicate this illustration. You may have had a prior negative experience which usually increases your fear. I know if you look closely you will find the same pattern of thoughts that lead to the emotion of fear.
A thought or series of thoughts have as much power over you as you give them.
It’s not always as easy as the physical examples I have given. For the relationship between action and emotion is quite obvious. Here are some common but more intangible ways fear manifests and stops you moving ahead and into your goals.
Fear of Responsibility.
Responsibility means to have control or authority over something. In relation to your life you must realise that you are responsible for your actions. You are the agent and the cause of everything that happens to you. You are in control.
The fear enters when you think in terms of good and bad, instead of cause and effect. Thinking in terms of good and bad is the way you are conditioned. You must realise that no person is in a position to judge you. If you take an action it has a consequence. If you make a mistake this does not mean you are bad. It means that you have made a mistake. If you want a different result then I would do something different next time. With the help of mistakes you learn, those of you who can walk, actually learnt this through a series of mistakes.
Fear of Accountability.
To be accountable means that you are answerable to someone or something. We are answerable to ourselves. I don’t mean to the self that manifests itself as your ego. I mean to yourself that is the true being hidden behind the ego. This is the part of you that wants you to be the best you can be, it wills you to strive for excellence. To be accountable to your true self is difficult because your ego is tasked with the job of keeping this true self from you so that you are protected from certain things such as emotional pain.
The fear comes from the fact that to be accountable to yourself you often have to venture a path that is apart from the crowd. This requires your individual idea’s and desires to manifest. You may have been punished or ridiculed for either your mistakes or your idea’s by others. This leads to conditioning that chains you to someone else’s pattern of thought.
Fear of Success.
Fear of success is prevalent and is often linked to self esteem and responsibility.
You may not think you are worthy of success. You may believe that you are worth less than someone else and therefore are not deserving of success. Realise that you are equal as a human being with the rest of humanity and that no one person is any better or worse than you. You have your own set of challenges to work through.
You are just as deserving of success as anyone else. What judgment have you made that limit your own self esteem. Are you happy with yourself can you look yourself in the eye via a mirror and love yourself.
When success comes we move from an old pattern that has held us back, to a new pattern. This can create emotional turbulence in the lives of those around us. It is important that you understand that you don’t have to hold yourself back to protect the self esteem of others. Marianne Williamson expresses this perfectly when she says that this a fear of your own greatness. You can read a passage from her here.(Our greatest fear)
Many of these expressions of fear are closely intertwined and indistinguishable from one another. It is important that you concentrate on what you want, not what you don’t want. Realise that thoughts create their power over you through your emotions.
Your power comes through awareness of the process and observation of the hold that is over you. Awareness brings what is hidden into the light. The light shows you that you can be in control.
Aymen Fares is an International Life Coach with clients all over the world. He is based in Melbourne Australia.
find out about his ‘Key To Life’ Manual